Monday, November 8, 2010

SPF- my new BFF

Have you ever put something off, avoided it, pushed it to the back of your thoughts because you were too scared to face the reality of the outcome? Well I have. I have been d0ing it for years, actually. Let me tell you what's up...

I have light skin, light hair, light eyes, & lots of moles & freckles. I'm pratically a walking billboard for the type of person that should NOT expose themselves to too much sun. But that sure hasn't stopped me. All through high school & college, I worked in a tanning salon & tanned as much as I pleased {which was waaaaaay too much}. I have spent every single summer laying by the pool, bumming it at the lake, & booking trips to Florida, The Bahamas, & Mexico {anywhere the sun is sure to blare}. Summer wasn't summer to me if I wasn't sporting a sun kissed look!

I knew all along that I wasn't being kind to my skin. I knew that there were risks. I even knew that I was high risk, but I just kept on pretending I was invincible- that it would never catch up with me. Welp, it has finally caught up with me.

Over the past several years, I have noticed some freckles/moles on my skin that just don't look quite right. I have been scared to death to have them checked out in fear that the outcome will result in that big, scary, terrible word that affects so many people every single day- cancer. Instead, I just have been going along everyday, pretending nothing is wrong, shaking the anxiety when it arises. At least that's what I WAS doing...until I looked into the eyes of my little boy. When I look into the eyes of my very own child, my life takes on so much more meaning. I see a baby who needs his momma. A baby who needs his momma to be strong & healthy, & to take care of herself. Not a momma who refuses to do the right thing because it's a little scary. So I booked the appointment with the dermatologist & fretted until the day of the appointment finally arrived.

It really wasn't as bad I had anticipated. I went in, had a full body check, found that there were indeed some concerns, got all numbed up, & had the 3 moles in question removed & sent off for biopies. I received a phone call from the nurse 10 days later stating that 2 of the moles had come back benign. While I wanted to sigh a big sigh of relief, my mind went a million miles an hour thinking, wait a sec, there were 3 removed...there was still one left. What about THAT one?! Well, turns out that one of the biopsies came back with abnormal cells. So what that means is that tomorrow at 9:30 a.m., I will be having a procedure done to cut the mole completely out so that it can be sent out for another biopsy. I don't know much about what is going to happen- I'm not sure I really want to know how it's all going to go down. I have refrained from googling it, because I don't want to be up all night freaking myself out. I know that several layers of skin will have to be cut, & there will be stitches, & all of that makes me nervous & a little squeamish. I've never even had stitches! I'm sure everything will be okay, but if you think about it, say a prayer for me tomorrow- for my nerves, the pain, & the results. Thank you, friends.

Oh, & as for the future? SPF & are I going to be real good buddies. And I will NEVER EVER step foot into a tanning salon again. It is so not worth it.

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