Pregnancy Blues

The last thing I want to do here on my blog is to go on & on complaining about pregnancy woes. In the grand scheme of things, pregnancy is a beautiful blessing & in the end will result in one of the greatest gifts God could possibly bestow upon us.  I am fully aware that there are women who would give their left arm to be able to feel the aches & pains that pregnancy brings along with it, just to be able to bear a child of their own. Trust me when I say I know what an honor, privilege & miracle that carrying a child is, & I don't take it lightly.

But with that said, I'm gonna be real with how I'm feeling, both physically & mentally.  And I've gotta tell ya, I'm pretty sure this kidney bean sized child of mine is on a mission to kill me.

It's been a rough few weeks. I've been sick nonstop around the clock.  Morning sickness? Ha! Try all day, everyday, 24/7 sickness. There are days that I haven't even moved from bed & I even went one stretch of three days without a shower.  I know, gross.  I'm gagging over everything--cleaning supplies, lotions, hand soaps, perfumes & colognes.  And don't even get me started on the stinky things--the pigs {& flies}at Deanna Rose Farm, Jett's diapers, people in the grocery store that haven't washed their hair--they all send me straight to the gates of  Dry Heave City.  I'm popping Zofran like it's candy & the delivery guy at Pizza Hut has come to recognize our voices before we ever even tell him who we are.  Okay, so it's not that bad, but we are eating an awful lot of take-out. Most foods send me racing to the toilet & it takes a lot of psyching myself up to simply eat something.  I remember being nauseous when I was pregnant with Jett, but this pregnancy is knocking the socks off my pregnancy with Jett.

And speaking of Jett...he's all out of sorts.  He knows his world is different--that something is off.  That his momma is less energetic, less patient, less fun.  I feel absolutely horrible for him & most nights I go to bed feeling like a big, fat failure of a mom to my little boy. On the upside, at least he does get a few great laughs throughout the day. Kid thinks his momma's gagging is the funniest thing he's ever seen. He will belly laugh like I've never heard & then proceed to pretend he's gagging.  So at least I am providing some form of entertainment.  Guess I'm not a total deadbeat.

I realize this downtime in our lives is just temporary & that in just a matter of a few weeks {or less, I'm praying}, my family will be bouncing back to our normal, lively selves. I know that in order to get through this first trimester that I'm going to have to pull myself up by my bootstraps,  quit punishing myself for being human, & most importantly, continue to keep my eye on the prize.

I promise to not spend the next seven months whining & complaining about my pregnancy blues. And if every once in awhile I go MIA here on my blog, forgive me. These days, a few minutes of shut eye trumps a few minutes of blogging.  I will do my best to keep our updates coming, because it's important to me that I continue to capture these fleeting moments in our lives,  but there are going to be times when my little boy needs snuggling, when this momma needs napping, & when a toilet needs a head pressed up against it.

But you all know me, once I'm feeling like myself again, I'll be back in action & rocking & rolling!

Besides, as much as these pregnancy blues are the pits, they've got nothin' on the excitement I have that in just a matter of months I'll be holding a brand new, squishy, soft bundle of joy in my arms.  That my little Jett Jett will be the sweet big brother I know in my heart he will be, & that our little family of three will have grown into four & will be one step closer to complete.  No way are these pregnancy blues going to make me lose sight of that grand finale.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to gag my head off  brush my teeth before heading to bed.

Happy Monday, friends.