First Day Of Preschool {Nailed It!}

Well, we did it.

The first day of preschool...nailed it!

I was a ball of nerves. I had been since the week before when we'd gone to preschool open house & I'd left there feeling extremely overwhelmed.

I don't know, something about being congregated together in a classroom, seeing my boy's name tag dangling overhead on a laminated, smiley faced apple, chit chatting with parents who were all in the same boat as us--it stamped a big, fat THIS IS HAPPENING on the whole thing.

After open house, we found ourselves parked in a spot at Sonic, where Jett could fulfill his grape slush fix & Momma could be talked down from the ledge.

Jared: You okay?
Me: Nope, I'm thinking about jumping ship.
Jared: What do you mean?
Me: I mean...I'm thinking about yanking him from preschool, keeping him home another year...keeping him home forever.
Jared: Baaabe...you can't do that. We've come too far to do that now. Look how excited he is for school. We've talked it up all summer. He's met his teacher. He's met his classmates. It's too late for that now. He is ready.
Me: Oh, it's not too late. I can turn this ship around. Yep, I sure can. I'll just tell him, "Do you want me to leave you there at that school where you'll be away from Mommy allllll day? Where you don't know anybody? I can't be there with you. You'll be there without Mommy & Daddy." You watch. I can change his mind about school, make him hate it.
Jared: HOLLY B*****!!!{Jared always uses my last name for emphasis when I'm in trouble with him}

At this point we were cracking up. Because we both knew full well that this is what I do. When the nerves are jitterin', when the tears are brewing, I resort to comedic relief. I use humor & joking & silliness in the place of melting down into a crying puddle of a mess. Of course I never had a single intention of turning my child into a preschool drop-out, but somehow joking that I just might...it made me feel better...& gave us a good laugh.

It's hard to let your babies go...even just a little. I know I'm not the only momma who's experienced this struggle warring deep inside. How tight a grip do I hold on with? When is it it the right time to loosen the reigns?  That urge of wanting to keep my children small & young & protected & shielded in a soft, squishy bubble for the rest of their lives, it burns inside of me & sometimes, seems like a grand idea.

But it's not. I know that.

So yesterday, we watched as our first born spread open his tiny wings. He took the first of many flights he will take in this lifetime of his.

He started preschool.

Jared was right. He is ready. And "ready" for our family may look a whole lot different than "ready" looks for another family. I've had a few friends ask me if they're doing something wrong, because they aren't doing pre-school at the age of three or even at all.  My answer to them--Heavens, no. We had no intentions of placing Jett in preschool at three. I figured anything he needs to be taught, I would be able teach him at home. The plan was to wait until he turned four, send him to preschool for a year & then off to Kindergarten he would go. But after listening & taking note of a few cues Jett was giving us, we decided to at least throw the idea of preschool around. If we found a right fit, great. If not, we'd continue looking until next year. No biggie. I decided to really trust myself on this one. Jared I & talked a lot about Jett's needs, what we could give him & what we couldn't. As a parent, it is so easy to look around at what everyone else is doing & measure what I should be doing, what my children should be doing based on that standard. I continually have to remind myself that this is our child, that this is our family & that it's okay if our story looks like our very own & not identical to somebody else's.  It's okay if it doesn't go the way we had originally planned. It's okay if we put Jett in preschool at the age of three or four or not at all, if that's what we feel is best for him & for the harmony of our family of four. I tried to be as open as possible in determining this decision for Jett & his adventures in preschool.

Well it just so turns out...we didn't find a right fit. We found a perfect fit. 

Miss Marilyn's preschool. It had me at hello. I knew it had Jett's name all over it the moment I heard the energetic, passionate voice of Miss Marilyn on the other end of that phone call the very first day I called. A preschool full of adventure & hands on learning & field trips & parties & the oh, how list goes on & on & on. Instead of the pit in my stomach I had always felt when thinking about sending my little boy into the world for the first time, I was actually feeling excitement. And most importantly, Jett was too. 

So off he went. He proudly hurled that little striped backpack over his shoulders & he marched into preschool without {much} hesitation. Jared & I helped him get settled in & after a few minutes knelt down beside him, told him we loved him & that it was time for us to go, but that we'd be back right after show & tell to pick him up.  He quietly leaned into me & said, "But I don't want you to leave." I explained to him {like I had been explaining for the past week} that school is a place for kids & that mommies & daddies cannot stay but that he was in for a really fun day & to just have fun. He replied with a simple "Okay." And that was it!

Okay, so maybe there was a brief & very minor mommy meltdown once I got into the car, but other than that, the first day of preschool...

Nailed it!